The Literary Salon

A free salon wherein patrons and passers-by may view or contribute ideas on literary and generally intellectual matters. The blog will strive to maintain its commitment to wit, humour and perspicuous analysis.

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Location: Toronto, now Ottawa, Ont, Canada

Friday, July 28, 2006

I hate FIFA

Reasons why I hate FIFA (The International Body of Soccer):

They are a bunch of spineless, vacillating weasels (Sepp Blatter, this means you).

1- Before the world cup began, Blatter called a meeting with all the participating referees and basically told them to card anything and everything. After the debacle that was Portugal vs. Holland (in which 16 cards were shown), Blatter had the gall to impeach the referee, even though he was only following instructions.

They are inconsistent miscreants

2- In Euro 2004, Francesco Totti is suspended for 3 matches because he allegedly spit in the direction of a Danish player.
-Daniel De Rossi (also Italian) gets 3 match ban for elbowing a U.S. player during the play (i.e., not behind the play
-Germany's Torsten Frings punches an Argentine player after their match and gets a 1 match ban.
-Zidane gets an aesthetic punishment, and Materazzi is somehow fined for trash talking. Oh, poor baby Zidane, don't upset the 6 year old, please! I'm glad France lost just because of that. And, if you're gonna fine Materazzi for something that goes on during every single match, then nearly every professional (and amateur) player must get fined.
-In world cup 2002 (the worst ever), Brazil's Rivaldo gets hit in the knee gently with the ball, and falls to the ground, covering his face in agony. His punishment? His coffee money for the week.

Finally, FIFA is made up of a bunch of puerile cavemen from Middle Ages

-Other sports use video replay (only American Football does it to excess), and instituting it would reduce the amount of cheating as well as bullying on the field. I propose they use video replays ONLY in the following cases:

-to determine a goal
-to determine a penalty
-to determine a red card that is not beyond doubt

Players would get away with far less, and it would definitely curb bad behaviour.
Don't give me the tired excuse that it would slow down the game: whenever there is a controversial call, the game is slowed down considerably by complaints, etc. If anything, when there are controversial moments, video replay would speed it up. Has FIFA considered it? No, because they are, as I said, puerile cavemen.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Buddy,

Nice post. Could not agree more!


5:28 p.m.  

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