Arma virumque cafe

For reasons beyond me, I had a bout of insomnia a couple of nights ago (as well as last night). I thought I was through with this shite...
Anyway, in my sleep-deprived state nearly to madness allied, I thought of a really funny idea: I will write the great Canadian national epic, the theme of which will be Tim Horton's. I would have to do some research, but, being in it's infancy, the idea is less than complete or even coherent. I'm not sure whether to compose it, as Milton did, in blank verse or to imitate my faves, Dryden and Pope, both of whom translated epics into English rhymed verse. I'm also not sure whether to make it more or less serious or, a la Pope, to make it a mock-epic. Rape of the Lock is mock-heroic, so this would be the first mock-epic that I know of.

I thought I might start off like this:

Coffee cup, and the man whose name it bears,
Who from northern plains o'er ice, full o' cares,
...

that's my best epic poetry ex tempore. Anyway, I thought it's an idea worth toying with.