The Literary Salon

A free salon wherein patrons and passers-by may view or contribute ideas on literary and generally intellectual matters. The blog will strive to maintain its commitment to wit, humour and perspicuous analysis.

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Location: Toronto, now Ottawa, Ont, Canada

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


Well, after a long, two week stint in TO, I'm back in O town (a friend of mine suggested calling it "The Big Maple," which I like very much).
Visiting parents/back home is nice, but two weeks was a bit much. I think from now on I will stay for a week max, but I knew that I couldn't stay for very long next Christmas owing to the conference I now must attend in January 2009.

I wanted to write a post about just why I hate the holidays so much, but these same holidays took a chunk out of me, so I have lost that negative energy. Maybe one day I will write on it.

Funny story: I had been back in Ottawa for less than 24 hours when I was offered fellatio for the second time in a month, which is odd since for eight months, I never saw anything like that. This time the offer came from a less than attractive woman sitting down with her friend. She asked me my name and what my background was, to which I of course gave misleading answers (I used to tell people I was Phrygian for kicks; maybe I should do that again). Why I stopped in the first place is beyond me: perhaps because I'm an amateur anthropologist and am curious about these things. In any case, when I told her I was Italian (which I'm not), she then proceeded to remark on the peculiarities of Italian male genitalia, undoubtedly in an effort to arouse me (generally, she was talking dirty). The whole thing was kinda sad because I've never been more turned off in my life.

After repeatedly assuring her that I was flatted but not interested, she appeared to become a little incensed, and then I went away on my business. On my way back home about 30 minutes later, I saw her and her friend walking, and the woman who had tried to seduce me said "there he is" in a not unfriendly manner. To this I waved, and then she said "thank you." I'm fairly certain she was a crackwhore, but she was corpulent, a rare combination indeed.

Let's just say I'm looking forward to moving out in May. In the meantime, I have to worry about my major comprehensive exam in the 18th century. So far I'm off to a decent start.

That's all for now.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow... First homeless people, now crackwhores. Good to see you are moving up in the world. ;)


9:14 p.m.  
Blogger Pious Labours said...

yeah, what next? Columbian drug lords?

1:21 a.m.  
Blogger Dr J said...

No: gummy geriatrics with proclivities for snowballing.

11:49 a.m.  

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